WHO WILL CRY FOR THE POOR?

I saw them every day; spoke to them on the phone in the one story building I have come to think of as a haven, a sort of Mt. Zion for those seeking help - Community Impact Legal Services. Looking back on the weeks I have spent here, I can’t help but reflect on the changes in my perception of what justice is, who deserves justice and how justice should be served. I came in here a duckling, eager to swim but with no skills, and I am emerging a swan - graceful, diligent, an advocate - a drum major for justice. I have become the voice crying in the wilderness. I will cry for the poor and hopeless. My cry will be for justice, truth and change.

They walked in early on a Monday morning with an eighth month old baby. The woman with her brown skin and tired eyes is the spokesperson; her child’s father fades into the background as she is the bread winner and head of household. Her daughter fusses a little bit but soon settles into joyful baby laughs as the coolness of our air conditioned office soothes the heat rash on her back. It was the middle of June and there was an unforgiving heat wave sweeping through the towns of Pennsylvania. Miss Woman’s electricity had been cut off for about a week because she was unable to pay her bill and was being charged with theft of electricity. Her baby has been unable to eat because all the food in the refrigerator is spoiled and even the little portable battery operated fan they put in her room seemed to droop in the excessive heat, circulating only hot air. She has been unable to charge her cell phone and if there was an emergency, there would be no way to call for help. With a quick review of documents, payment help options and a quick call to PECO, we were able to get their electricity back on in two days, pending an investigation of the theft charges.

The clients CILS serves are the hopeless, the distraught, and the choice-less "minorities" of our society. Many of the clients have been forced into degrading actions because of their circumstances. The separation brought on by skin color, wealth and education continues to divide the "haves" from the "have-nots." Pressed into a vicious cycle of ‘my mother was on welfare and so will I be,’ continues as another young black girl - sometimes she is Hispanic, allows an equally disillusioned man with the 22 inch rims and his little drug business to mislead her into yet another pregnancy with no support but WIC. She arrives here fighting for benefits, subsidized housing and child support and cannot even think for a second about school. So CILS serves her and many others through advocacy, counseling and referrals to enrichment programs. CILS cares for them, cries for them and their children who will face the same vicious cycle of poverty.

Through my internship I have come to recognize a different type of oppression - one that is not acknowledged – SHAME. Many of the clients I helped during my internship were oppressed by this shame. They come in speaking in low voices; heads hung low, and lies spewing forth. At first I was upset to find out that my clients lied to me, but under the mentorship of Ms. Carolyn Johnson, I learned to empathize with my clients, understand the desperation, the lack of choices, and the regret that fuels their actions. They face circumstances that deny them opportunities to succeed, they fear failing and thus develop a character of never trying. With each new client, came a different breed of shame - crying shame, indignant shame, denial shame, blatant shame, the shame of all shames. As varied as the shame my clients felt, so varied my reactions to them, my indignation at the landlords who refuse to maintain their property, my anger at Housing Authority for improper record keeping, my fear of the IRS for the old couple who might go to jail, my desire for a new home for the widower with no family whose house was being sold at a sheriff’s sale.

As I came to understand shame, I understood more what an attorney can be. An attorney can be a care-giver who supports, understands and empathizes. An attorney is not a lord who looks down on her clients, who shakes her head in disdain and thinks "these people ought to know better!" Working at CILS has taught me about going the extra mile. If my client is facing an eviction because she is unable to pay her rent, instead of just referring her to a service that gives rental assistance, I have learned to go the extra mile of referring her to a job placement agency, and to organizations that will provide free day care services for her children.

As a woman, an immigrant and a minority in the United States, I have learned through this internship, how to represent all these groups I am a part of. Many clients who call or walk in to this office are minority and sometimes immigrant women. They are oppressed, broken, hopeless yet still so strong. Many of them feel the shame but through their tears beg for help for their children. "If not for me, please help my baby." I have learned that community development is a key part of being an attorney. It is about giving seeds and not food. "Give a man a fish and he will starve, teach him to fish and he will eat forever." That is what I have learned to do here, to be involved in the community, to reach out to clients on a more personal level, to care just a little more. I have learned to step in their shoes and walk; those shoes pinch, fit poorly and are tattered. I am no different from them; I have just been given a chance.